a joy to love.

2009-01-15T20:32:00.000-08:00

I am blown away by the Lords intensity and gracious heart to love me despite me being me. And by me being me, I mean, me being selfish, full of sin and of the flesh. I love that His love conquers every part of me that isn't of Him. He is faithful to win me back to Himself. This complex thought is one in which I could spend eternity pondering; the fact that I am His and He is mine. Oh the depths of His heart and His complete desire for me, us, to "Come in!". I want to enter His heart. I want to dwell there. Find home there. I want Him, more than any other lover. I have been led by the faithful hand of my Lover to a place of distaste of every other competing lover. I just want JESUS. And the sacrifices that it has taken me to get to this place is nothing compared to that in which I have gained. Ah, I am overcome by this man Jesus. He is completely ravishing my heart, turning over tables in my life, and ridding me from chains I thought were necessity to carry. He is beautiful this man Jesus. And He requires all of me, us. He is after hearts, and He will not relent until He gets what He wants. I feel this explosion deep within me; it has started with my heart and has made its violent way like fire up my bones. I cannot fully convey the depths of explosion that Has been lit and ignited, but I can tell you that I am hungry, starving, and desperate for more.

Thou hidden love of God, whose height,

Whose depth unfathomed, no man knows,

I see from far Thy beauteous light,

Inly I sigh for Thy repose;

My heart is pained, nor can it be

At rest till it finds rest in Thee.

-Gerhard Tersteegan

In complete honesty, he is wrecking my world upside down; from the inside out. My bones and flesh, soul and spirit. A spurring has hit me so hard to go further, to go deep, deeper, more deep into the heart of my beautiful Lover; Self-existent, Self-sufficient, Eternal, Omnipotent, Just, Loving, Holy, Kind, Sovereign... God. And a result, a lot of burnt bridges, laying down of fleshly things, the giving of possessions, friendships lost, worldly pleasures destroyed, and a lot of denying of self.

This life is vanity, if not unto the Lord. Hear my heart, what is the point of living on this earth if it isn't for the Lord. Nothing else truly satisfies, no job, or relationship, or worldly possession, or money or anything of the likes will ever fulfill our longings. The only true satisfaction comes from the One whom we were created for. And for a long, long, long time I was caught up in what I could get out of this life, what satisfies me, what fulfills the void and temporarily suffices my hearts longings. Ah, and in Gods kindness, He came to earth, died upon a tree, and beckoned me into His perfect, perfect love. I am forgiven of my sin, I have been set free, I have breath in my lungs, clothes on my back, friends whom I love, and a Papa who has called me by name. And how can I not give Him all of me? For He has given himself completely to me. Time and time and time again His heart remains open to me, and time and time and time again I fall, and get back up, and offer authentic heart cries, and fall again, and plea for mercy, and get up, and commit idolatry with other lovers, and repent, and cry, and return, and fall, and get back up. Yet, He does not respond like the tides of the sea, nor does not operate out of mans fickle narrow-mindedness and offense. I do. I am guilty of that, of closing my heart, of getting offended. Ah, but by HIS love, I am being perfected, I am being humbled. He never changes, and He will never relent. And in this, I am finding it a complete JOY to give Him all of me. Its by His love that I am even able to say , "Take it all, take it all, just give me JESUS".

Ah friends, I hope we can all join in to this beautiful revelation that Jesus is worth it. Worth it all. We lose nothing by giving Him all, but gain more than one can comprehend. Ah, eternal life, eternal hope, eternal communion with our Savior and Lover. How precious this gift, this gift that cost Him everything; His life, that was freely given to us. And It will cost us everything, our whole lives, but It is worth it Beloved. Oh let us pick up our cross and follow Him today. For unto Him be all the glory!

blessings,

brit j. chaney

dancing like a free woman.

a joy to love.